Dr. Jerry Crunch, (a retired Naval flight surgeon ) announced today that a state association of snack food producers has been formed to support the passage of I-502, Washington's pot legalization initiative. Citizens For A Tasty State (C-FATS) will file necessary papers with Washington PDC early next week.
US Navy (retired), Captain Crunch said today that he was asked to head the group by manufacturers of what our state calls "snack foods", or did, or does, whenever the legislature is trying to tax the products. "If the medical pot folks can try to control the market by getting into this campaign, snack foods, candy producers, dairy interests and confectioners have every right to see to it the other side of the story is told. I mean where would you be without these folk's products on the those stratosphere evenings siting at home watching Star Trek movie reruns with the sound off and listening the AC/DC?"
Crunch added that he has been contacted by popcorn producers and soft drink interests who are evaluating their increased market if Washington approves I-502.
And this just in:
For Release 2/27/12. Nogales, Mexico
We have just learned that the Hugo Cordobes cartel is evaluating joining with Washington's medical pot industry to oppose I-502. Mr. Cordobez, who has never actually been seen in public, spoke through an interpreter with a scrambled audio device and a blurry picture like you see on America's Most Wanted. He said that his family's business interests would be greatly damaged if people could just go out buy his product. "Many people give of their time and in some cases their lives to deliver the product to Washington citizens. You Americans may not believe it, but there are places on the Mexican/American border that are actually watched by border police. Not all of our shipments make it through. And may I remind all citizens of Washington State that even if you pass this people's law, as you call it, your federal law will not change and it will still be illegal for you to possess my product. Thank God I can count on my friends in the other Washington to continue their insane and expensive enforcement of pot as a controlled substance. "