OLYMPIA, Dec. 17.–A message posted late Monday night by the husband of a snubbed legislative candidate goes to show why we should all be glad God invented Facebook. How often is it that you hear members of the King County Council being compared to Dr. Evil?
Not often enough, to be sure, and that is what is making the late-night posting by Mark Albertson a must-read in political circles. The King County Council that afternoon said no to a candidate who had been recommended by Democratic-party precinct officers, Kent Councilwoman Elizabeth Albertson, and instead appointed SeaTac Councilwoman Mia Gregerson to a vacancy in the Legislature. She’ll be taking the the 33rd District seat being vacated by Dave Upthegrove, D-Des Moines. And while party recommendations are overturned by county officials every now and then, it is a most interesting choice.
Republican councilmembers joined in supporting a candidate best known for her active promotion of SeaTac’s $15-an-hour minimum-wage initiative. Gregerson enjoys strong support from labor’s activist wing – a constituency Republicans generally do not spend much time attempting to please. The council, it should be noted, is non-partisan, though every member has come out of the closet – there are five Ds and four Rs. All four Republicans supported Gregerson.
Even if the county council wanted, as Republican Kathy Lambert put it, to prove it was “no rubber stamp,” the selection might have been forgotten immediately had Mr. Albertson not posted his sober and thoughtful analysis. Mr. Albertson apparently posted his Facebook message while on a trip to Scottsdale, Arizona. Mrs. Albertson, who was attending the 33rd Legislative District Democrats’ Christmas party Monday night, appended a gentle suggestion at the bottom of her husband’s posting: “I don’t think that’s what happened, but I like your writing style…’delete’ might be a good idea.”
It’s still up this morning – and indeed, a posting on Facebook is a bit like an open letter to Planet Earth. But as long as there is a risk Mr. Albertson might wake up and think better of it, Washington State Wire thinks it an outstanding idea to preserve it for the ages.
Says Republicans More Highly Evolved
Mr. Albertson’s reaction begins with this comment:
“I am so angry now, I could scream. The King County Council is a group of complete and total imbeciles. Our system is corrupt. I’m googling ‘anarchy.’ “
Then Mr. Albertson posted another message that went into greater detail:
“Bravo, Republicans, whatever I have ever said to indicate you have limited intelligence, I completely and totally take back. You proved to me tonight, that you are, indeed, the more highly evolved on this planet, from a strategic point of view, anyway.
“The 33rd Legislative District has been a Democratic ‘slam dunk’ for as many years as I have lived in South King County. The 33rd LD has been a Democratic stronghold, with a string of Democrats, many of whom have had limited intelligence and political savvy, have gone unopposed for a dozen years. The Republicans have had to have been frustrated, as they simply could not shake the 33rd. Fortunately, they have had Democrats of limited intelligence and who did virtually nothing to rock the Republicans’ boat in Olympia, such as David Upthegrove, whose winsome smile and completely unthreatening agenda have pacified the Republicans’ need to overthrow the Democratic stronghold in the 33rd, and King County Councilperson Julia Patterson’s desire to promote a fellow “Angle Lake” do-nothing over any qualified candidate. Nevertheless, everyone knows that behind closed doors, the republicans have been working on a strategy to turn the tables on 33rd democrats. It wasn’t until tonight, however, that the Republicans had a winning strategy, and they employed their blitz with an amazing display of cunning and intelligence that will defy anyone to believe that the world is not changing dramatically.
When Representative Upthegrove’s political aspirations coincidentally aligned with Councilperson Patterson’s political “retirement”, the Republicans saw their opportunity. I imagine a scene where King County Councilperson Kathy Lambert, having a drink with King County Councilperson Reagan (yes, that Reagan) Dunn, along with state Republican party hack Susan Hutchison, with a passed-out King County Council person Rod Dembowski, just before the bar closed, saying, ‘What a great idea.’ What do those bleeding-heart Democrats love (I mean besides eating their own)? They love ‘people of color.’ Fortunately, there was a sandpaper-personality young-and-attractive Asian lady who had been put on the door step of some upper class, privileged white people who had won her election in the city of SeaTac by 30 votes, who aspired to more than being on a city council of a city in which hardly anybody lived. Dave Upthegrove had resigned his seat to take the $130,000 a year job with the King County Council, the 33rd, by a 20 percent margin, chosen to send Kent Councilperson Elizabeth Albertson to the House of Representatives to finish his term, and Ms. Albertson was the most ominous Democrat to take the seat. A true progressive with more than a dozen years of service to the Democrats, including serving as a precinct committee person, a chair of a legislative district, having served on a land use and planning committee, and having served 8 years on the city council of the 6th largest city in Washington. She had won both of her elections by wide margins, and had been on the “hot 100” list of the progressive majority. She was smart, articulate, involved and passionate, and she was a huge threat to the Republicans. If Elizabeth had taken the seat, the Republicans had no hope of winning an election for the House of Representatives as long as Elizabeth held the seat. They had to do something.
Evil Laughs and Pinkies in Their Mouths
“And then, in a fit of genius, unsurpassed since Goldfinger plotted against Bond … since Dr. Evil plotted against Austin Powers, since … well, I digress … the Republicans hatched the best plan ever. ‘Let’s get those cannibalistic Democrats, especially those Democrats with no spine, such as Larry Gosset, Larry Phillips and Julia Patterson, and let’s get them to turn on themselves,’ they said, with an evil laugh and a pinky in their mouths. So they, just like the devil on the right arm, whispered into the ears of Larry Gosset and said, ‘Don’t you want a person of color on the council?’ ‘Who cares if she’s inept, abrasive, unlikeable” …. She’s cute. She’s Asian … she’s going to make you guys look REALLY good …. And so, even though the legislative district Democrats, those hard-working people, who door-bell, give money, carry signs, etc. (who got you elected) want Ms. Albertson, we’ll go for the other person who at least seems to be one of those minority folks. Says Mr. Gossett, ‘After all, that’s why they elected us, right? To make smart decisions in place of the dumb decisions our constituents make.’ And so, they appointed Ms. Mia to the House of Representatives position, and congratulated themselves for being ‘strong’ legislators, contradicting the decision of the Democratic party’s most loyal supporters, because they were ‘enlightened’ and appointed a person of color.
“Following the meeting, high-fives were all around among the Republican stronghold. They knew that Ms. Mia was an opportunist. She had hired two people to go and collect PCO votes because her less than winning personality wasn’t enough to win them over on her own. In the worst case, she would be another Dave Upthegrove, with the political strength of a marshmallow. She could be put on one of those liberal ‘environmental’ committees, and she would never be heard from again. More likely, however, her abrasiveness, her inability to garner sufficient votes to win a SeaTac council election by more than 30 votes, and the anger of the Democratic pillars would cause her to be an incredibly vulnerable target for Republicans in the next election. Their coup was a stroke of genius, and the Democrats never even knew what hit them.
“But then, such is life. As the philosopher Tellard De Chardin explained, entropy is the only course the universe is on. The debacle at the King County Council tonight was a demonstration of political entropy, and entropy for all that is (or was) right and good in the world. In a world where a cognitively-impaired redneck from Alaska can be nominated for vice president of the United States, I guess defeating one incredibly competent and passionate Democrat for a somewhat meaningless state House job is not the least bit surprising. Bravo, Republicans, bra-vo!”